If Vicious Crimes are the Will of God—Who are We to Argue?

Posted on October 24, 2012

Indiana candidate for the U.S. Senate Richard Mourdock (Republican) is a brilliant man. At a debate Tuesday night, candidate Mourdock said that women who get pregnant from being raped have no right to consider an abortion because it was “…something that God intended to happen.” Never mind that criminalizing abortion would violate every rational notion of freedom, vis-à-vis establishment of religion and rights to privacy.

Hmm, makes sense. In fact, I wonder if we should even punish the rapist? The rapist must have been compelled to do the raping—after all, who can argue that free will is any match for the will of God? Furthermore, using this newly discovered Mourdock-ian logic, we should do absolutely nothing to attempt to put things back in their place after a horrible event occurs. I mean, if aborting a rape-created fetus is taboo, then so too must we disallow other forms of remediation.

Richard Mourdock’s statement made me realize that we need to change this country from top to bottom. For instance: When bank robbers get caught, they shouldn’t have to return the money. It was God’s will that they have it. When a drunk driver swerves onto a sidewalk and kills a five year old girl, no bother—it was God’s will. Let’s give the drunk a courtesy ride home.

After all, we can’t just say that some things are God’s will and others aren’t.  (Although, if asked, I presume Mourdock would tell us that successful abortions don’t count as the will of God.)  Therefore it goes without saying that our God fearing nation should immediately repeal ALL LAWS. Live and let live! Que sera, sera!

Indiana, elect this genius as quickly as you can so he can get to Washington and begin unleashing the chaos that must be, quite clearly, the will of God!